It was not your fault. That day you decided to skip school and left with your “friend” to her boyfriend’s house, you did not know another boy was going to be there. It was not your fault that the boy felt the right to kiss you, touch you, and penetrated you. You wanted to stop him, but everything happened so fast, your body was in shock, no one was there to help you. No one cared about you. Your friend just laughed at you. You went home that day and got in the shower without saying a word. You looked at your body, which did not seem to be yours anymore. You wanted to detach yourself from it. You scrubbed so hard, but that nasty feeling didn’t go away. You were only 13-years-old and your parents always told you to be a “good girl.” You became silent and kept your inner pain to yourself.
Almita, it hasn’t been an easy journey. Depression and anxiety have always been present. For so many years you thought no one will ever love you. For so many years, you allowed others to brake you over and over again. My lovely girl, it took a long time to shine again. Through this letter, I want to thank you for allowing me to live. Regardless of all the pain and times you felt alone. You continued to rise. Now you’re not only helping yourself, but others who have gone through similar experiences. Cheer up my beautiful Goddess. You have a great support system and you have so much love to share. You are part of a beautiful sisterhood, which has given you more strength. I love you Almita, keep on rising my beautiful child!
-Your 35-year-old self