Dear G

Dear G,

I am sorry you are going through this. I am sorry.

I don’t even know where to begin. I want to tell you to treat that member of your family, his mother, and every one else that doesn’t believe you with kindness  and compassion and genuine sympathy . To demonstrate the love that you haven’t received. I want to tell you that.

Instead, I know how hard it is to hear how some family members don’t believe. How hard it is to hear about the uncle that molested your aunt then tried to do the same thing to her daughter. How it hurts even more when your grandmother says nothing. How your aunt stopped believing you when her son denied your story.  How they fear him going to jail more than your pain. That brown women are often so invisible, taking care of the pain of everyone else but themselves.

Love is only as good as the lover. Remember that. Or rather, care is only as good as the carer. I think your family doesn’t know what to do, so they are silent. But that excuses nothing.

Sometimes, I feel that as Black people, we deal with such a hostile, hateful world towards our persons. And we stick together in order to survive that hatred. But then we’re so busy trying to survive the outside world, we don’t address our internal issues. And they perpetuate.

I know you want to forgive. But how can forgiveness happen without repentance. I know you’re wondering if you should send this letter at all. If it will just be your Facebook public identification as a survivor all over again.  I know you’re afraid.

But you  have been told to be silent all your life. And you have been told to think about other people before yourself your whole life. It is ok to be loud to be angry. You don’t have to protect anyone who didn’t protect you. Who still won’t protect you, will hurt you by denying you.

But never be silent. Never accept this. Never stop fighting.  You deserve to be safe .