Dear Me,

Some days you don’t want to get out of bed because your body aches and the depression is so bad. Other times you are anxious and too afraid to leave the apartment. I know you are trying to ebb and flow with the cycle of pain gracefully, but it’s not always easy. Other people are tired of hearing about the pain. It’s something that happened years and years ago. Your own mind registers the experience and tucks it away in a library of experiences that you know were not your fault. But your body still wakes up in fear at night, your body still flinches when someone touches you on the shoulder, your body still remembers. Healing doesn’t end when you are done healing and want the pain to go away. You are humbled by this reality and read #survivorloveletter as a daily prayer. I know you are not the person you thought you would become. I know that most of the time you loath yourself and feel like you wish you could jump out of your skin. But I am telling you right now that you are beautiful, loveable, smart, talented, and worthy of so much joy. Hold onto this on the days that are hard.