As hard as it is for me to say this, it WASN’T your fault. I know you think that because the police officer told you “maybe you shouldn’t drink so much next time,” that it’s somehow your fault. But you were just having a good time and didn’t realize that he gave you all the drinks yet didn’t take any for himself. Don’t feel bad that you couldn’t remember his name and they couldn’t find him for months. And now that they have found him, don’t feel guilty for participating in the trial and hopefully getting him punished. You are so strong. When you saw him and he said “Hi Sarah” with a smile, you were strong not to have punched him in the face. When he started working at your job, you were so strong to hold it together. You kept your grades up all semester, despite your desire to stay in bed everyday. And it’s okay that you’re not “over it,” and please stop beating yourself up when you still cry about it. I know you already had such low self esteem before it happened, and this letter was almost impossible to write, but I truly believe in you. Keep being amazing!
P.S. It’s OK that you’re crying right now! stop being so hard on yourself!